Stepmom.

noun: stepmother; plural noun: stepmothers; noun: step-mother; plural noun: step-mothers

a woman who is the wife or partner of one's parent after the divorce or separation of the parents or the death of one's mother.

As I think about this word, its meaning, and what it really means practically in my life, I have a lot of thoughts, and this topic will probably be one of the biggest topics I blog about.

You see, I never desired to be a stepmom; I don't know anyone who has. It's hard, it's challenging, it's not natural, and it's sometimes looked down upon. However, it can be rewarding and fulfilling too. Like anything in life, being a stepmom requires intentional thoughts and actions. Because most of it can be so hard, it requires a constant state of self-evaluation.

My journey to step motherhood started when I started dating Brandon. I knew him previously and knew he had children. Although I did not want to be a stepmom, I wanted to be with him, so I did everything I could to learn and grow in my new role. Podcasts, books, articles, followed stepmoms on social media, and had many, many conversations.

I felt like I had a good grasp of what this life would look like; in reality, I didn't. You don't know what you don't know.

This journey has been harder than I ever imagined. The feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, jealousy etc. have really taken me for a loop.