The Unnatural Struggle.

Recently, Brandon and I were in Phoenix. We were down there for work meetings, but of course, spent a lot of time with family and some friends.

Each time I see a friend I haven’t seen in a while, one question always comes up.

“How’s stepmom life?”

Here’s my current answer, as it has changed over the years:

I have it easy, but it is still so difficult. I have it easy because the kids love and respect me and my role in their lives. It’s hard because it’s so unnatural. It’s hard because while I am one of their parents, my voice doesn’t carry the weight of their biological parents. That’s not their fault; that is just the reality of this role. I follow a lot of stepmoms on Instagram, and I think it is safe to say we all feel this way. The ones who have it easier than others and the ones who struggle just to make it through the day.

It’s hard because it’s so unnatural.

There’s a constant struggle inside of me. Am I asking too much of them? Will they resent me if I make them do more to help around the house? Should I speak up or stay quiet? Does this involve me, or should I let the real parents handle it? Can I grow these relationships, while still being a parental figure in their life, without negative consequences?

So, while I love this role and these kids, it’s not easy. Each day, I have to make a choice that I won’t let anxiety or the fear of failure get the best of me.

In a way, maybe that thought process is similar to being a biological parent?